CERTIFIED THUGISM
10 things i believe in
1. Our experiences shape us, but we are also born with a set of characteristics. The best example of this is that some babies are fussy, some are easy; they are born with different needs and characteristics. But we are shaped by how those traits are treated. If you take two fussy babies, and one is mistreated every time it cries, whereas the other is nurtured and needs are attended to, they will come out vastly different. Studies show that we do inherit some characteristics from our predecessors. We also inherit things like mental illness and physical characteristics, which can help shape someone’s personality. For example, there is some suggestion that mental illnesses like borderline personality disorder might be genetic, but it is also a chronic invalidation wound. So, if that gene can be nurtured into becoming a personality disorder. We are born with a set of characteristics, and it just depends on our environment on what will come to light. That’s why two people who grow up in the same environment can turn out so differently.
2. Not everyone deserves respect from you. While I preach a lot about giving respect to strangers and being kind. As soon as someone disrespects you, such as by abusing, cheating, or violating your right to bodily autonomy. They do not deserve your respect. This doesn’t mean you can’t be civil if you choose to be. But it means you do not need to give them the kindness they never gave you. You reap what you sow, and if you plant seeds of disrespect, they will blossom into a plant of hatred. I do not believe your life should be spent on vowing to get revenge; revenge can be consuming, and it often feels like never enough. But, if you get a bit of revenge, I believe there is nothing wrong with it, although it depends on how far the revenge goes, and the situation it applies to. Anyway, back to what I was saying, not everyone deserves respect; some people are truly vile.
3. Committing suicide does not indicate weakness. You don’t stop being a soldier because you died in war; in fact, you are honored. I do not view suicide as a selfish act or as an easy way out. Centering suicide around yourself is selfish; we should mourn the fact that the person lost themselves to suicide. I do not believe suicide is the death of the individual; you lose them as soon as they start losing the battle to mental illness. As soon as they became a shell of their former self, the final act is just getting rid of the shell. Not everyone is going to win the battle, and that is just a fact. Suicide will always be prevalent in the world, especially with the growing turmoil of the world. Instead of mourning the fact that we lost someone, we should mourn that they succumbed to this fate. Suicide is not a weakness; by equating it to a weakness, you are disrespecting and invalidating the individual.
4. Instead of mourning an individual, we should celebrate their life. Of course, it is natural and perfectly okay to be sad over the fact that you lost someone. I still get sad and cry over the people I lost. But, instead of being lost in grief, you should celebrate their imprint on the world and the good they did. The kindness they showed you and others. For example, I lost my dog due to mental illness, and we had to put him down. I try not to mourn just losing him, but celebrate his life. He was sweet and felt guilty for his actions; he just couldn’t stop himself. Meds didn’t help, training didn’t help, he pushed past it. Death was a kindness to him; he no longer had to wrestle with something he couldn’t comprehend. I will forever get emotional about how I lost him; he was just two years old after all. But, instead of being lost in grief, I will celebrate how he changed me. The positive impact he left on me. Grief is complicated, losing someone hurts, but we shouldn’t just focus on the negative. We should focus on their life instead.
5. Homeschooling your child is isolating and a disservice to them. Of course, this situation does not apply to everyone. Sometimes, if a child is being severely bullied or suffers from a disability where it is safer to keep them at home, it is best to homeschool for now. But, even then, you should look for online options so the child can be taught by actual teachers. You do not have the education to teach your child; you have a natural bias that is inclined towards your child. Teachers can be unfair, but you have a natural bias towards your child. I also believe that some parents don’t always realize they are abusing their child, because they have a bias towards themselves, and justify their actions. So, that can double the isolation for the child and cause them to never get help. I know abuse can be missed in schools, but this only furthers the chance of it being missed. Having mandated reporters can be life-saving. Also, you are denying your child the social aspects of school. School can teach you important skills that teach you how to socialize with others. Using my own experience as an example again(to preface, I do not speak for everyone). I was homeschooled, I wasn’t really socialized with others, and in return, I really struggle with social cues. Could be because of my neurodivergency, but I believe that being homeschooled only benefited from that. Being homeschooled did not save me from being bullied either; I was bullied at my work. There are programs where your kids can interact with other homeschooled kids, but you are surrounding them with kids who also face isolation from real society. So, in my belief, it doesn’t really count as ‘socialization’. Even though I believe that there is no true ‘weird’ and what is weird applies to the individual, and just because you think something is wrong doesn’t make it wrong. Helping your child be othered by society is a disservice; you are not teaching them proper social interaction. My only outlet was the internet, really, as a kid, and the internet is a lot different than how people actually act in real life. So, you can imagine my shock when I found out people’s online personas are not real. Homeschooling can be a disservice to your child, and more people should reflect on themselves on the reason why they are homeschooling. Also, if you are homeschooling because of your beliefs, your child should be allowed to explore different beliefs. Your child will not always grow up to reflect your beliefs. Your beliefs can also be harmful, and you just don’t realize it.
6. The idea of ‘weird’ is based on what the individual believes. I am sure that I am seen as weird by many; I know I am, it’s been told to my face. Doesn’t make me wrong as a person. Not everything you find weird is wrong, on a moral aspect. Someone playing with toys as an adult, or being a furry, isn’t wrong on a surface level; the reasoning behind it can make it weird. Just because you find it weird doesn’t make it wrong. I believe also that a lot of things we find weird as a society are rooted in ableism. Neurodivergent people are often othered by society and labeled as weird. People do not see the world the same way you do. Stop restricting their right to exist based on what you believe.
7. As soon as you infringe on someone’s right to exist, you are a bad person. If you take away someone’s right to free will, you are a bad person. Your beliefs do not triumph over everything; just because you believe some way is the correct way to live doesn’t make it right. You also do not have the right to hurt others, just because you want to; it’s plain selfish and disgusting if you do not have a reason to. On a surface level, everyone deserves respect, and by taking away the right to free will and hurting someone without any warrant to do so, you are a bad person.
8. People shouldn’t have to hide their mental illness for you. By telling someone they need to hide their self-harm or eating disorder, for example, you are furthering the isolating experience. You are only worsening the situation for them. Mental illness is already stigmatized, and the idea that someone should censor themselves for it you are just furthering the stigmatization of it. By telling someone they should hide themselves, you are closing the door for them to get help. Normalizing mental health struggles and accepting that can be life-saving for the individual and others.
9. Things impact a person on both a micro and macro level. Micro being personal experiences, and macro being societal experiences. We all have personal experiences that shape us as a person, such as childhood and how we were raised. But macro things like the society that we exist in also impact us as individuals. That’s why when I talk about philosophical and sociological topics, I try not to talk from a personal point of view, because my situation does not apply to everyone. While I believe micro experiences are extremely important and deserve to be studied, I understand that macro experiences also shape an individual.
10. We have free will, but our free will is constrained based on what society thinks. An example is screaming in public for no reason. While we understand that we have the free will to do that, we do not because it is rude and disturbs others’ peace. The question is, does your free will have the right to exist over others? When does your right to free will infringe on others’ free will? A good example of this is gay marriage. For a long time, in society, it was seen as sinful and unnatural, but I would say the majority does not care now; it is just secular groups that do. That is an example of both free will and how it is constrained by society. It also applies to the idea that just because you believe it is wrong, it doesn’t make it right. Gay marriage does not hurt the individual; it doesn’t impact you in any sort of negative way, it doesn’t take away any of your rights to exist. Some who disagree with gay marriage might bring up how they don’t want to see that in public. To rebut that, I say people might not want to see heterosexual relationships in public, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Just because you believe something doesn’t mean it should apply to everyone. We all have a natural bias that makes us believe that our beliefs are better then everyones, and deconstructing that idea is powerful and life-changing. To sum it up, we all have free will, to some point. Our free will is constrained based on what society believes is okay.
Anyway, those are ten things I believe in.
the first point is something that interests me so much! i took a child development course and it talked about a lot of the same things. the environment you grow up in during your most formative years is much more impactful than a lot of people tend to think! anyway i agree with you on pretty much everything goat 😁
Just to chime in on number five, I think something a lot of people overlook when they talk about how public schools have this socializing aspect to them that homeschooling doesn't is that a lot of that socializing is just spreading the worst habits from the absolutely worst kids and enforcing social conformity. The social conformity bit might help out the less socially graceful kids at becoming less annoying, but the spreading of bad habits kinda breeds this different type of extremely annoying meaner kid, and I think all that demonstrates is that in public schooling environments the more aggressive unsocial traits are allowed to flourish while the more benign awkward unsocial traits are quashed. But otherwise I agree with number five.